Doſt thou hear a tappy-tap-tap of heavy boots upon thy roof? Hath the warlike neighing of wingéd caribou awakened thy family in the night? Today beeth the Eve of the Mistlemass, so ‘tis important to aſk thyſelf: Is that ſanta climbing down thy chimney or be it juſt another pillaging Norſeman?
The conſequences of this anſwer can beeth fatal. For, whilst ſanta is knownst to ſneaketh in through chimneys to bring gifts to all the Kingdom’s highborn children, the fearſome ſea Raiders wilt most definitely slit thy throat, burn thy home to ash, and ravage thy wyfe.
ſo if a large bearded man cometh through thy hearth in dark of night, beeth ſure to maketh note whither the ſack he carries is filled with toys and preſents or with the ſtill-bloody ſkulls of his vanquished enemies.