Lyfestyle Magick

Cipher Monday Deals For Any Knights Whomst Can Crack The Cipher Of Destiny And Obtain The Hidden Treasures Of Mount Ævil

mountain at night

These tymes of plague hath forced many wandering chevaliers and knights errant to putteth their quests on hold. In their stead, many of these brave souls hath taken to the books and ciphers to challenge their bold minds. This endyear’s Cipher Monday beeth the perfeckt tyme to put those decrypting skills to the test, as His Majesty beeth offering the following deals to any whomst can cracketh the great Cipher of Destiny and obtain the hidden treasure that hath been contained within the bowels of Mount Ævil for centuries.

  1. Sword of Fates. The Sword of Fates hath rested in the Royal Armoury since time immemorial. But ’tis rumoured that ’tis the only sword powerful enough to slay the mighty beast that ’tis said to reside within Mount Ævil. As said beast wilt surely emerge to reign hellfyre upon the land once the Cipher is cracked, the Royal Armourer wilt loan it at ha’pryce to any knight whomst succeeds.
  2. Light of Hlutskyrgyr. The dark of the Caverns of Ævil beeth so profound that normal light cannot illuminate them. But the Light of Hlutskyrgyr doth contain the light of The King’s radiance combined with that of a thousand suns, and it can pierce through any darkness. ‘Tis on sale at Claudio’s Lampery for any knights seeking to journey thither for merely 8 Silver Hoofla.
  3. Bread. Thou shalt needeth something to eat if journeying deep into the belly of the mountain! Normal pryce at Baker’s Bakery, for the harvest was badde in that region this year.
  4. Deciphering Gauntlets. Whence trying to solve a cipher, one needs maximum dexterity that ist not available in normal clunky gauntlets. For any wishing to crack this most difficult puzzle, Lord Fauxtable’s Deciphering Gauntlets provide maximum versatility for inquisitive knights. Half a sixth-portion off now through Saturnalia.
  5. Wagon Train. If thou manages to cracketh the Cipher, navigate the caverns, and slayeth the beast, thou wilt need a way to carry the riches located therein back to the Royal Coffers. (For thou dost not get to keep it, of course!) For a mere 2 Golden Bilges per cart, Pilgrym’s Cart Rentals will rent thee all the vehicles thou needs to transport the gold to The King. (Additional mileage fees apply.)