Lyfestyle The King

Thy Logistical Concerns About Marrying This Merman Are Far Outweighed By The Benefits Of The Naval Alliance It Will Bring


Marriage beeth a beautiful thing, especially when it doth cement an alliance betwixt great military powers. In truth, there beeth no better reason to betroth one’s daughter unwillingly to a neighbouring prince. Thusly, when I didst agree to marry thee, mine heiress, to Prince Ürdfinne of the Kingdom of the Merfolk, I didst consider it moste beneficent.

Surely, there shalt be logistical challenges in thy marriage to an aquatic fish-man who doth reside in the briny depths. But the benefits to the Kingdom’s naval alliance with the Merfolk shall beeth astounding!

Just thinkest of the upside!

For the small pryce of thee having to live out thy miserable existence in a freezing pelagic hell-hole with a hideous cod-being, the Royal Navy shall have complete rule of the high seas! Any noble father knoweth that Naval Supremacy is far more important than his daughter’s feelings.

Also, thinkest of the many drowning sailors whose lives shalt be saved by their new Mermenish allies. Sure, they are known to eat human flesh, so a few sailors who doth fall overboard shall become Mer-dinner, but many others shalt be saved. This alliance beeth a much better idea than teaching our sailors how to swim!

So fret not, mine girl-child. Thy suffering shan’t be for naught, for thy marriage shall unite the strongest Navies in all the Realm!

God saveth The King!