Hast thy rotund pet dragon been trying to eat Geoff at every opportunity? Hath thy commands and training techniques for keeping his appetite in cheque been for naught?
Whilst ’tis true that human flesh is a healthy snack for dragons, thy pet dragon needeth to keep his weight under control, and we kind of like Geoff and don’t wanteth him to be eat’n. Here art some tips for keeping thy corpulent beast from feasting on Geoff.
1) Positive reinforcement. “‘Tis a myth that pet dragons only respond to strict discipline and punishm’nt,” sayeth expert Dragon Trainer Müsselfoot Tüffdayle. “Dragons beeth kind creatures at heart, and ’tis important to reward their good behaviour with small treats like fingers and peasant toes.”
2) Teacheth Geoff to be calm. Dragons art emotive beasts, and can senseth unease in the people around them. ‘Tis possible that thy dragon keeps trying to eat Geoff because he is always high-strung and jumpy. Encourageth Geoff to relax, and thy dragon will feed off his calming energy.
3) Practice thy commands. ‘Tis important thou practiceth commands with thy dragon, such as “sit,” “shake,” and “burneth that village.” And, of course, rewardeth his obedience with a tasty femur or serfchop!